A Charlotte County Christmas…

By CHUCK BROWN
(With apologies to John Mason Neale and Good King Wenceslas)

Good King Jed Purcell looked out, over good St. Stephen
Potholes they lay all about, deep and most uneven.
Brightly shone a thought that night, though the banks were cruel
When a premier came in sight, setting costs for fu-u-el.

“Hither Hendrik, stand by me, King Jed told his town clerk
Yonder premier, what’s his deal? Why is he such a jerk?”
“Worship, he’s from Fredericton, capital of N.B.
He’s the guy who rules this place, you can call him Shaw-aw-ny.”

“Will he help us fix the roads, if we ask him nicely?
And my heat bill is a load, could he come de-ice me?”
Mayor and clerk they set off fast, to ask for some money,
But the premier told the two, go jump into Fu-un-dy.

Our friends in the U.S.A., way across the border
Aren’t so friendly now-a-days, always snapping orders.
We just want our milk and gas, no need for a report.
There’s one question they must ask, Do you have a pa-ass-port?

In St. Andrews, Johnny Craig, fretted over water
He spoke out on everything, cause he thought he oughta
Jamer’s quarry, L-N-G, any cause he’ll take it
If he doesn’t understand, he’ll just have to fa-ake it.

Cruise down country, there you’ll find, fish and chips and Doucet
He’s got energy to burn, and Lord knows we’ll use it.
St. George is the new boom town, everything is there now.
Subway, cop shop even Tim’s, in that tiny tow-ow-own.

Look way up to Ottawa, Harper’s still in power.
Our man Thompson’s by his side, for at least the next hour.
But the others want them gone, formed a coalition,
Call it courage, call them fools, but they’re on a mi-i-sion.

Back here in our small-town homes, we’re just glad it’s Christmas
If we were anywhere else, surely we would miss this.
Friends and family warm our hearts, and in peace we can sleep
And we’re thankful for their warmth, cause that oil ain’t che-ee-eap.